Exploring our sexuality when we’re over 50 is not a joke
Society may laugh at the idea of people over 60 being sexual, but we are. We may not be the same as we were when we were younger, but we still have emotions and desires. After all, we are human.
Many women over 60 are sexually active, but there are many who would like to be. Because of the negative stigma associated with sex for seniors, they supress their desires to avoid the judgement of others. And these others are probably much younger and don’t want to think about
anyone older than them, especially their parents or grand-parents, having sex. Remember when we were teens and the idea of our parents ‘doing it’ was just awful, creepy and something we quickly put out of our thoughts.
Things are changing. We may be getting older, but we’re getting better. We’re healthier, more active, and more involved in society than previous older generatio
ns were. We are aware of our bodies, and most of us do what we can to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Sexuality just isn’t taboo for older people, like it used to be.
Grace and Frankie, a terrific Netflix show, focuses on senior sexuality. The storyline theme centres on the importance of
accepting our sexuality, whether gay or straight, before it’s too late. The episodes explore sexual pleasure, same-sex relationships as well as making ‘lube’ and selling personal massagers. This innovative and provocative series is opening up sexual doors for boomers. It’s giving us the green light to explore and acknowledge our sexuality.
Here are 6 reasons why we need to explore and acknowledge our sexuality over 60:
- Sex is natural – We are sexual beings, nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. It doesn’t matter that we’re older, and it’s okay that our sex drive is changing. To ignore it, just isn’t healthy, mentally or physically.
- It’s time to be honest with ourselves – We need to ask ourselves what we like, want and desire from a sexual per
spective. Maybe we don’t care, or maybe the last thing we want is any sexual activity. But maybe we’d like to be aroused, or have sexual fantasies, or maybe we are now single, so we have decided that part of our lives is over. But it’s okay to have desires and fantasies, even when you’re single. Being honest with ourselves is important as it gives us strength and improves our self-awareness. - Being sexually aware of our body feels good – Put your favourite outfit on and look in the mirror. Do you like what you see? Does make you happy? Do you feel like you can turn heads? It feels good to think about our sensuality, our passions and our desires. Our thoughts can be enjoyed in the privacy of our minds, without any negativity or interference from others.
- It’s an easy way to improve our lives – When we are aware of our sexuality we can explore how to satisfy our desires. There are many ways to feel sexy, desirable and satisfied. We can begin to date casually, date younger men, explore gay or lesbian relationships, get a personal massager, or even search out erotica in the form of books and movies. You may even want to ‘wake up’ your partner to once again enjoy sexual activity. Knowing what you desire, helps you improve your life.
- It’s an great way to relax – It’s well know that sexual activity is wonderful for stress relief. Even when we’re alone, we can daydream to satisfy our desires. Self-stimulation is also a super way to relax and achieve sexual satisfaction, especially when a partner is not available. We may find we’re sleeping better, feel more refreshed during the day, and are better at handling life’s ups and downs.
- Why not! What’s holding you back? Sexual exploration can be private, discrete and extremely personal. You don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want to. You may find you’re smiling a lot, feeling happy more often, and there may even be a swing in your step and a twinkle in your eyes.
Senior sex is here to stay and it’s growing more and more popular as seniors embrace their sexuality. Grace and Frankie are empowering older women and men to be honest about their sexuality and desires. Click this link to view the trailer or advertisement for Season 1 of this this Netflix show.
Bravo to Jane (Fonda) and Lily (Tomlin) for their excellent portrayal of strong, independent and sexy women. We need to listen to this message and embrace our bodies without embarrassment, without humiliation, but with pride.
It’s all good!
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This article was first published, in July 2016, on the Sixty and Me Website. Click this link to go to the Sixty and Me publication of my article.
It’s all good!